Column mithulogy: “vulval lips” in the dictionary!

The dictionary, doctors and teachers speak of labia. This has to stop: There is no reason to be ashamed of your genitals!

Viva la vulva instead of viva la shame Photo: dpa

Already talked about genitals today? Yes (then read on at the next paragraph). No (then read on at the next paragraph). Maybe (okay, maybe this column isn’t for you, but maybe that’s why you should read on at the next paragraph).

You see, there’s a nice new word that sounds like it’s a nice old word. While the old one sounds so outdated, as if it urgently needs to be put into the museum of discarded words. We are talking about the labia. Why shame? So why continue to say labia? Why not use a more pleasurable word?

Fortunately, journalist Gunda Windmuller has suggested one. They are the lips of the vulva, so they are called: vulval lips – obvious. And clearly more obvious than calling them lips of shame or guilt or whatever.

"But then why don’t you say labia? It’s already in the dictionary." True, except that in elementary schools and kindergartens, Latin is not spoken, but the German translation is used, and thus children learn from the very beginning that there are parts on their bodies that they should be ashamed of. Shit happens. "Labia is not the translation of labia at all, that would be lips, don’t interpret discrimination into it everywhere."

From pussy lips to pussy wings.

For the church, everything that had to do with sex was the devil’s stuff, and you had to be ashamed of it. That’s why they called genitals exactly that: pudendum. That is the participle of shame. And the lips of the shaming parts are just labia. Ten years from now, we’ll look back and think: unbelievable, we were still saying pubic genitalia at the beginning of the third millennium? Wasn’t there a petition then?

Yes, there is. Now! Post a photo of yourself with the vulval lips sign (Victory sign plus thumb – so middle finger and index finger form the V and the thumb spread to the side makes it the VL) and the #vulvalippen on social media and demand the end of pubic (lips).

I found this so simple and plausible that I spread it everywhere. And was surprised that those around me immediately started bombarding me with alternative suggestions: Pussy lips, vulva lips, intimate lips, sex lips, or my favorite suggestion: "Pussy wings. It’s a folded butterfly!"

Apparently, a lot of people are thinking wisely about their intimate communications. That’s encouraging! Let’s brainstorm together. Also for more than one word. And, of course, the pubic hair needs to be renamed. How about charm hair? The first step is to get vulval lips into the dictionary. For that, we need enough mentions. So: vulva lips, vulva lips, vulva lips.